I had experienced God's grace before. I knew I was saved. I knew Jesus had done everything to bring me into His family. But I still didn't really understand grace. Deep down, I acted like grace had gotten me in the door, but it was now up to me to keep myself in. I would have firmly denied that to anyone who suggested it, because I knew the "right" answer in my head. I could quote the verses. I could explain salvation by grace through faith. However, there is a significant difference between knowing something intellectually and truly understanding it in your heart. If I'm honest, there were times when I believed God loved me, but I wasn't sure He really liked me. It felt like His love was a theological fact I had to accept, but His affection was something I still had to earn. That quiet belief kept me in a kind of performance-based religion, working hard to please Him, feeling good when I thought I was doing well, and heavy with guilt when I thought I wasn't.
That is why, when I say I "tasted grace," I do not mean it was the first time I had encountered it in salvation. I mean, I was finally beginning to see grace and unconditional love for what they truly are. It was as if the fog lifted and I could see God's heart clearly for the first time. And once that happened, it changed the lens through which I read the Bible. Passages I had read for years now sounded different. Commands were no longer threats or tests I had to pass to stay in God's favor. They became invitations from a Father who already loved me. Stories of judgment that used to intimidate me now shone with mercy I had overlooked. The entire story of Scripture began to reveal itself as what it truly is: a love story from start to finish.
It was like walking out of a dark cave into blazing sunlight. I had been living with the light on the horizon, but now it was surrounding me. Before that moment, I thought I was keeping my life in order, doing what I was supposed to do, comparing myself to others, and feeling quietly confident about where I stood. But grace blew all of that to pieces. It showed me the truth: without God's mercy, there is no hope at all.
It is like trying to swim in the middle of an endless ocean, telling yourself the shore can't be that far, and then realizing it is thousands of miles away. You won't make it. You never could. And when you are about to go under, a strong hand reaches in and pulls you out. You are safe in the boat, not because you kicked hard enough, but because Someone loved you enough to come for you. That is when it hit me. The Father, the Son, and the Spirit are the real heroes of my story. I am not the overcomer. I am the one who got rescued.
But here is the thing. Even after seeing that, I found it easy to turn my attention back to myself. I started measuring my spiritual progress, comparing my walk to others, and convincing myself I was pleasing God more than someone else. It is sneaky. It feels spiritual, but really, it is just keeping score again. That is pride dressed up as devotion. The moment I start thinking I am ahead of someone else, I have forgotten that I cannot earn His love or His grace, before I believed or after. Grace is not a paycheck for good behavior. It is the gift that holds me steady on my best day and my worst.
When grace is fresh in your heart, superiority has no place. You stop scanning the crowd for people who are worse off than you so you can feel better about yourself. Gratitude moves in. Gratitude that God loves me, not just when I look like I have it together, but when I am at my lowest. Gratitude that His love is not selective, that He loves my friends and my enemies the same. Gratitude that His heart beats just as strongly for the one who fails in public as it does for the one who hides their struggles. I know who I am now. I am a mercy case. I am the chief of sinners. I am the lost sheep He carried home. If grace were given only to the ones who earned it, I would have been left behind a long time ago. But grace is not about who deserves it. It is about God's heart, and His heart goes after the hopeless.
Without Him, I would never make it. I would be undone and lost forever. But because His love never runs out and never comes with conditions, I can live with a heart anchored in gratitude. And the same God who rescued me can rescue anyone. That is the miracle of grace. It tears down pride, lifts up the broken, and turns rescued people into those who love others the way they have been loved.