Most folks don't spend a second thinking about their adrenal glands. I sure didn't. Then one day, my world changed. Cancer came calling not just once, or twice, but three times. By the time the doctors finished their work, both of my adrenal glands were gone. That was the start of a new kind of life, one I'd never have chosen for myself.

The adrenal glands are small but mighty and crucial. They sit on top of your kidneys, like little command centers, quietly sending out the hormones your body needs to survive stress, sickness, and the curveballs life throws. Without them, you have lost your body's safety net. You never knew all that they do. Adrenaline is super important.

When I still had my adrenal glands, I could take life's punches and keep moving. I'd faced heartbreak, betrayal, and plenty of rough days.

After I lost my adrenal glands, suddenly, my body couldn't manage stress at all. Things that used to be simple now felt overwhelming. The fatigue would hit out of nowhere. There are days when a deep, unfamiliar kind of fatigue knocks me down, and honestly, most days are still like that. Anxiety creeps in for no reason I can name, and I find myself wondering if this is my new normal.

Now, every morning starts the same. Before I even think about breakfast, I reach for my steroid medicine and will take it three more times during the day. Hydrocortisone, to keep me upright. Fludrocortisone (administered once a day) helps balance out the hydrocortisone, allowing my body to retain the necessary salts and water to prevent low blood pressure. Miss a dose, and my body lets me know quickly. Shakiness, low blood pressure, nausea, that bone-deep weakness and fatigue you can't shake.

And it's not just the routine. If I get sick, stressed, or even have dental work done, I have to "stress dose" take extra medicine (at least double) or risk landing in the ER. (I have never had a crisis) I am supposed to carry an emergency injection everywhere I go, but I don't. It's a strange way to live, always one misstep from a crisis. Betty asked every day over and over, Have you taken your pills? Yes, I have my watch set to take the pills on time each time.

Do not go anywhere without your medical alert bracelet to make sure the paramedics do not kill you if you have a crisis.

There's no vacation from it. Even at night, my body is burning through what little cortisol I've given it, so mornings feel like dragging yourself out of quicksand. Fatigue becomes your old, unwelcome friend.

The hardest part isn't what happens in my body; it's what happens in my heart. Most days, I appear fine to everyone else, but I feel a bit worn out. But on the inside, it's a battle to keep smiling and pretend I'm okay when I'm anything but. I can't just grit my teeth and push through anymore. Plans fall through. I have to say "no" more often than I want. The people who love me try to understand, but unless you've walked this road, it's impossible to grasp all the hidden worries and constant second-guessing that come with it.

Don't forget the cancer on top of all of this, that I still take over 100 pills a day between meds, vitamins, and other alternative methods to fight cancer. I also get several shots a week, enemas, infusions, etc.

There were days when I felt abandoned even by God. I remember sitting in the darkness, wondering if there was a way forward, if I'd ever feel strong again, or if this was just the new reality. My reputation took a hit after some ugly public accusations; friends disappeared, ministry doors closed, and at the same time, cancer was quietly eating away inside me, stealing even my ability to process stress.

Yet, in that deep, dark valley of the shadow of death, I learn something life-changing. When my strength runs out, I find God's grace waiting at the bottom. "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." That truth is the anchor I clung to when nothing else held.

Living without adrenal glands has humbled me. I can't hide my weakness. I can't outrun my need for God, or for the kindness of others, especially my wife and family. However, I've also seen how, even in my lowest moments, God's love never left me. Friends and family showed up in ways I'll never forget. Some turned away, but the ones who stayed are great and help tremendously.

I want you to hear this: no matter how weak, worn out, or forgotten you feel, you aren't alone. Life can be hard sometimes harder than we ever imagined, but it isn't hopeless. Being weak doesn't put you outside of God's love. It might be the doorway where you finally let Him in.

No matter where you find yourself right now, with adrenal insufficiency, battling cancer, or just trying to make it through a tough season, your story isn't finished. The pain you feel is real, and it matters, but it's not the whole picture. There's a greater reality that reaches beyond what you're facing today. You are loved, right here and right now.

And when your body lets you down or you feel like you can't go any further, you are still being held by your Shepherd, who cannot be shaken. That isn't just a line from a book. It's a truth I've learned the hard way, walking this road myself.