When Holiness Turns Harsh

Have you ever walked into a church and felt like you were stepping into a courtroom rather than a sanctuary? For many, the modern church experience has become a series of hoops to jump through and standards to meet before they are truly welcomed. Specifically, there is a growing sense that the church's goal is no longer to rescue the perishing but to protect the "righteous" from the perishing. Consequently, the world is looking at our buildings and seeing a gated community rather than a city on a hill.

I have spent over 50 years in ministry, and I have seen firsthand how easily we can drift from a mission of mercy to a culture of judgment. This drift often happens because we believe we are defending God’s holiness. However, when holiness turns harsh, it ceases to reflect the heart of Jesus. In my own journey, I had to learn that God’s holiness is not a weapon to be wielded against the broken. It is the beauty that invites them home.

The religious leaders of Jesus’ day were not "bad" people by human standards. They were incredibly disciplined, doctrinally precise, and deeply committed to God’s law. But they fell into a dangerous trap. Their love for the law eventually outgrew their love for the people the law was meant to serve. They became gatekeepers of a system rather than shepherds of souls.

This is the central tension we face today. When a church focuses solely on behavioral modification, it creates an environment where people learn to manage their appearances rather than walk in the light. This performance-based religion is exhausting. It tells you that you must fix yourself before you can find rest. But as I often say, "Rest doesn't come after you fix yourself. Rest comes first."

When Jesus officially launched His ministry, He didn't start with a list of rules. He didn't begin by condemning the culture of Nazareth or demanding a stricter adherence to traditional boundaries. Instead, He stood up in the synagogue and announced a revolution of grace.

The "acceptable year of the Lord" was a reference to Jubilee. This was the year when all debts were canceled, and every slave was set free. Jesus was declaring that God’s favor had arrived: not as a reward for the righteous, but as a rescue for the bruised and broken. Therefore, if our churches feel like a heavy burden of debt rather than a celebration of cancellation, we are out of sync with Jesus' mission.

Specifically, we must ask ourselves: are we known for who we exclude or who we embrace? Jesus was famously known as a "friend of sinners." He managed to hold the highest standard of truth while maintaining the widest arms of welcome. If the "messy" people of our cities aren't throwing dinner parties for us like they did for Jesus, we might be practicing a version of holiness that is more Pharisaical than Christlike.

Many leaders believe that if they don't preach "hard" enough, people will lose their fear of God and fall into sin. They use shame and pressure to keep the congregation in line. However, the Bible teaches us a completely different engine for transformation.

It is the goodness of God that leads us to change. Fear can force someone to behave for a season, but only love can make a person new forever. When we preach a God who is fundamentally disappointed and demanding, we produce a church full of anxious employees. But when we preach the Father who runs toward the prodigal, we produce sons and daughters who obey because they are loved.

"Loved people become loving people." This is the core of faith-based development. When you realize that you are not being graded or measured, but you are being held by a merciful God, the desire to live a holy life flows naturally from a heart of gratitude.

In church leadership, there is a recurring temptation to succumb to the "Diotrephes spirit": the urge to seek preeminence and control the narrative of who is "in" and who is "out." You can read more about this in my study on the Diotrephes spirit in church leadership. True leadership in the Kingdom of God is about adding value and modeling the finished work of Christ.

When I was battling Stage 4 cancer, I couldn't perform. I couldn't lead a mission, I couldn't preach a sermon, and I couldn't "earn" my keep in the Kingdom. In that place of weakness, God stripped away my reliance on my reputation and showed me that my identity was secure in Him alone. I had to take the big leap of faith and believe that God loved W. Austin Gardner the man, not just Austin Gardner the missionary.

This is the message the world is starving for. They don't need another lecture on how they are failing; they need a revelation of how they are loved. When we anchor our teaching in union with Christ, we provide a foundation that doesn't crack when life goes sideways.

Jesus gave us a very specific metric for how the world would recognize His followers. He didn't say it would be our political influence, our doctrinal precision, or our cultural stands.

Love is not the absence of truth; it is the environment in which truth is able to heal. If we have the truth but lack love, we are nothing but a "clanging cymbal." The reason the world is avoiding our churches is often that they have heard our noise but haven't felt our heat.

We must return to being a rescue station. This means:

The world isn't looking for a perfect church; they are looking for a place where they can be honest about their brokenness and still find themselves met with mercy.

Hey friends,

Let’s be real for a second. Why does walking into a church sometimes feel like walking into a high-stakes performance review?

We talk a lot about being "holy," but if our holiness is making us harsh, judgmental, and unapproachable, we’ve missed the mark. Jesus didn’t come to launch a courtroom; He came to announce a Jubilee: a total cancellation of debt and a freedom for the bruised.

In my latest post, "When Holiness Turns Harsh," I’m diving deep into:

If you’re tired of the performance and ready for a church culture built on radical grace, this one is for you.

👉 Read the full article on waustingardner.com

Also, if you want more bite-sized insights on living a life of mercy, come join me on Medium. I’m sharing more personal stories and leadership lessons there to help you navigate faith with a humble heart.

🔗 Follow Austin on Medium here

Stay followed by mercy,

Austin Gardner

Does a focus on grace mean we should stop talking about sin?
Not at all. Truth is essential for freedom, but the spirit in which it is delivered matters. When we speak the truth in love, we offer medicine; when we speak it in judgment, we offer a weapon.

What if I’ve been hurt by a "harsh" church environment?
The first step toward healing is realizing that the harshness you experienced was a reflection of people's fear, not God’s heart. God is not disappointed in you; He is for you, and His mercy is running toward you right now.

How can I help my church become more grace-centered?
It begins with you. Model the vulnerability and mercy you wish to see. When you lead with your own need for grace, you create a safe space for others to do the same.

#AustinGardner #Grace #Mercy #FaithBasedDevelopment #ChurchCulture

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