Everybody is guilty sometimes. We all do it. We whine sometimes.

People perceive whining as negative, self-centered, and unproductive complaining. It typically dwells on problems without seeking solutions.

How to Tell If You Are Whining

We will not discuss the whining sound—you know, the high-pitched, nasal sound the child prolongs—but we will look at how we adults may unintentionally whine.

Does your complaint focus on the grievances or the solution?
Is your complaint baseless or nearly so?
Is your complaint overly dramatic?
Is your complaint a way to seek sympathy or attention without a genuine intent to change the situation
Do you repeatedly discuss the same problem without taking action?
Do you focus on the obstacles instead of the solutions?
Do you seek to blame others or external factors for your circumstances?
Are you more focused on the problem or the solution?
Are you expecting others to solve your problem for you?
Are you exaggerating the severity of the situation?

How to Stop Whining

Practice gratitude instead of focusing on what is wrong.
If you need to complain or express dissatisfaction, be careful to articulate your feelings clearly.
When you see the problem, look for solutions or how you can improve the situation, changing you from the victim
See the challenges and obstacles as opportunities
Take concrete steps to address the issues.
Use the problem as a motivation to grow
Take responsibility instead of blaming others.
Acknowledge your part in the situation and explore how to improve
Stop thinking or saying, “This is unfair.”
Stand up straight, control your voice and attitude, and be positive.

What is the opposite of Whining?

Gratitude, embracing what is good and focusing on it
Accepting reality, especially when it is outside your power to change
Offering solutions
Learning to adapt and think
Taking personal responsibility
Maintaining a positive action-focused approach
Acknowledge the other person’s perspective even if you disagree
Focus on mutually beneficial solutions
Clearly stating your needs and feelings
Be respectful but assertive, still considering the needs and opinions of others

Whining rarely leads to positive outcomes. It can push others away and leave you feeling even more disheartened. Let’s make a conscious decision to be more positive and productive. We have the power to achieve our goals without resorting to whining.