Growing up, I learned to conceal my feelings and words. In my world, real men didn’t cry, and they certainly didn’t go around telling people they loved them. If you did, you risked being called too emotional or, worse, a sissy. People understood that women could cry, love, and feel deeply, but men had to keep their emotions strictly controlled.

Maybe that sounds familiar to you. Perhaps you recall a time when you felt a strong connection to someone, whether a parent, spouse, child, or even a friend, but the words never found their way out. You felt it. You might have thought about it, maybe even prayed about it. But you kept it inside. In doing so, both you and the person you cared for missed out on the blessing of those words.

The truth is, when we leave words and gratitude unspoken, it robs both of us of something precious. The person we feel for never hears what they most need, and we never experience the joy of sharing it. There is something sacred in speaking kindness and love. Something healing happens in honest, thankful words. God made us to give and receive love, not just to feel it quietly while the world keeps moving.

And here’s something else that’s true. When you do finally go out on a limb and speak those words, it will probably feel awkward. The person you’re talking to may become embarrassed or unsure of how to respond. There might be a long pause, or they might try to laugh it off or change the subject. That’s okay. They may not know what to do with genuine love at that moment, but I promise you, they will not forget it. That awkward, tender moment will stay with them far longer than you realize.

It seems to go against our culture to be loving, kind, and expressive, especially for men of my generation. We learned to joke, to cut, to say something opposite of what we really felt, hoping our friend would get the message underneath. Sometimes, those joking and cutting comments hurt, even if we meant well. That was just how it was. Today’s generation is different in some ways, but the challenge remains the same. We often tend to be so inward-focused that we miss out simply because we fail to express our love.

If we’re not careful, life can become a quiet habit of holding back. We often end up remembering people fondly but rarely share that with them. We admire from afar but never say it out loud. We leave so much unsaid, even with our closest family members, spouses, parents, and children.

A lot of it comes down to what we choose to focus on. We pick over the hurt, the failures, and the little ways someone let us down, and we replay those moments until they become bigger than all the kindness we’ve ever received. We continually replay instances of being wronged or let down. It is easy to get stuck thinking about ourselves, how things affect us, how we feel, and what we didn’t get.

Then something happens. Death comes, or illness changes everything. Suddenly, all that focus on self falls away. What matters is the person who might not be here much longer. We start to remember the good. We wish we’d said more, given more, expressed more. Regret begins to fill the space where gratitude and love should have been.

Why do we so often act as if we’re the center of the universe? People cling to one sharp comment while overlooking years of kindness. Why remember only when someone failed, but forget all the times we did? We’re willing to feel love and thankfulness, but somewhere along the way, we learned to keep it to ourselves. We don’t want to diminish someone by telling them how much we admire them as if that would somehow take away from God’s glory. Where did we get such foolish ideas?

Today, people are quick to fake it on social media or express outrage about something, but very few take the time to express genuine love. Perhaps it’s time we changed the story. Maybe it is time we decided that holding back isn’t the way of love. Perhaps we need to speak words that bring life. Words of thanks, words of admiration, words that say, “I see you. I’m grateful to you. I love you.” The next time you feel that warm sense of gratitude, or you find yourself admiring someone in your heart, you’ll say it out loud.

After all, unspoken words die inside us. Shared words grow into something that lasts. Don’t wait for a tragedy to say what matters. Don’t let your love stay locked away until it is too late.

Let’s become the people who express our feelings. While there’s still time, let’s offer our blessings. Let’s give joy as freely as God gives grace.

Who knows whose life you might change starting today?