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Some of the strictest, harshest Christians you meet were once gentle and kind.
They used to pray with tears, love others easily, and feel deep compassion.
But over time, they learned how things really worked.
They picked up the right phrases and things to say, and found the right group to fit in with.
Slowly, and often without noticing, fear took the place of love.
They became afraid of being wrong, of being left out, or of being seen as weak or insufficiently committed.
So they tried to become tougher.
They started
defending truth more than loving people,
protecting holiness more than showing mercy, and
mistaking control for actual strength.
They never meant to end up like this.
All they wanted was to be faithful.
This is how people become like the Pharisees.
It doesn’t start with pride, but with fear, fear that God’s love is fragile, that we need to be careful with grace, or that resting will bring trouble.
So they started focusing on performance.
But trying to perform always leads to exhaustion.
That’s why so many believers end up feeling dry, tired, and disconnected. They’re carrying a pressure God never wanted them to carry.
The real turning point isn’t about trying harder.
It’s about seeing things differently.
The problem isn’t loving God too much. It’s not believing that God loves you enough to let you rest.
When you really believe this, something inside relaxes. The urge to compare yourself fades, the need to prove yourself goes away, and the desire to control others disappears.
That’s because love can do what fear never could.
Love sets you free.
Grace does not make you careless. It makes you safe.
And feeling safe changes everything.
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